So it was a normal Tuesday night on twitter.. I'm siting here watching all my followers, some being creeps and sick ass pervs... a few bitches posting thirst traps, you know a normal night. I then see my girl clap talking about how shes going to New York for the weekend...... BITCH WHAT??? i moved to Maryland and she all of a sudden she thinks she can move around and visit other states without my approval? NAH. I was more hurt than anything, so i did what any real nigga would do... Invited myself. I started picking out "new yorky" outfits to bring with me. Had my bags back by 3am Wednesday morning, shit the lonely life is real around here... Saturday morning couldn't come any quicker.. I bought my ticket for 8am. I wanted to be out there some what earlier, because when you start drinking at before 1pm your day is bound to be awesome....
Friday came along, my bus ticket was paid for, my bags were packed, and I was mentally ready to have a mini vaca with clap... My girl from out here ask if I wanted to go to the club with her though. So me being a "smart" individual I say YESSS.. I had it all planned out in my head, I can just go out come home, shower and go straight to the station... SMFH I dont even know who I am b, cus I ended up getting so fucking drunk....Typical Spank though.. I walked in there sober, telling myself "Spank, you're gonna only have a couple drinks"... Haha if only I knew how to listen.. Wale ends up in MY VIP (I say my VIP cus I was there first but whatever) So these coons are poppin bottles, you know how it goes when rappers are in the club... Im just there, drunk as shit... Dancing with two cups in my hand. One henny straight, and the other was some mixed drink... Not to mention I got one of my DC homies passing me champagne, i was really just a drunk ass black girl. IDK who raised me dog. But that's besides the point.. I end up missing my first bus to New York...LMFAO, i really aint shit... I had to pay another $40 to catch the next bus which was at 9:30. So i just sat around, Hennessy coming out my pores feeling like a homeless bum.
So this bus took years, I fell asleep most of the time but still I was on it for too damn long.... Next time someone remind me to take the train cus I'm not for that staying on a bus forever life. I get to New York and its snowing. GREAT. This bus drops me off in the middle of the street, not sure if im drunk, or hungover yet. I'm just THERE. So I speak to clap, her and the girls are at the hotel, which was only a few blocks away... So again, in my head im like "bet, lemme get my sex in the city on and catch a gotdamn cab" NAHHHHHH wasn't that easy. I was waving down these fucktard ass cabs for longer than 45 mins. I even contemplated on just laying in the middle of the street and letting the yellow cabs kill me, I mean my friends didn't care that I was just stuck on a random street and couldn't catch a cab, why should I?
I get to the hotel, cold as shit (Not to mention my drunk ass forgot my coat on my bed)\... We're sitting there, had to wait because check in wasnt til 3... ladeedeeladeedoo, there was a total of 5 girls, including me. Ruby, Charlie, Kimmy, and Clap. We get up to our room, and we turn up.. Like, on some sober turn up shit. Eventually our girl Lacy brings the liquor, praise lord jesus christ. Were getting ready with Meek Mills dreams and nightmares intro on repeat because only real niggas do real things.. Were taking shots, chasing it with more liquor. Trying to figure out what were gonna get into for the night. So eventually, we figure out that were gonna go to BB Kings. Now me, being a joe budden fan, I know he performed there... So my creep ass just wanted to go for that one reason, I know I need jesus. We were all just about ready, me and Kimmy (she low key was my partner in crime) decided to play ding dong ditch. We both were dressed. Her with a cute lil mini skirt, and me with leggings on OF COURSE.. We had on the highest of heels, but for some sick reason we decided to run around the fucking hotel hallways, again idk who fucking raised me dog. Thank god we didn't get caught, two grown ass woman getting kicked outta the Westin for knocking on random doors, smfh.
Kimmy ended up losing her phone on the way there(talk about being a blonde.. jkjk i love you girl sorry for your lost), we get to BB kings and she finally realizes this. While shes pancaking about where her phone is people are staring at us like they aint never saw ass before. A group of kids (ages from 17 to like 19) were asking me all types of questions. "who are you" "what do you do" "are you famous". so what do you think I said? FUCK YES IM FAMOUS.... who cares if I'm only famous in my head??? These kids don't know that.... Outside of this club taking instagram pics with them like I'm important n shit, too bad they didn't know that i work a 9-5 and take the train to work...Fuck it I'm in NY, I can live this fake life..We get in the club and its just as great. The females I was with were getting treated like the princesses they are, we were just flourishing all over NYC. We were having a good time. Now, lemme just say. You New York niggas ALL NEED JESUS. Yall see females and start grabbing and licking your lips, staring us down with sex in your eyes, chill out b.. thats mad fucking creepy for real. It was just different. Idk maybe its normal out there but nah... I dont know how many times I threatened to kill a nigga for grabbing one of my girls.... And not even on no cock blockin shit either, on some "you look like you could be my uncle, fall the fuck back before you get this 6 inch heel up your ass... real nigga wussup" type shit.
So the club ended up being a success, we all got drunk and had the best time. We stumble into the hotel lobby, all eyes were on us. The concierge, all the security guards everyone just stopped and waited to see what we were going to do next. These people really thought we were something important, lmfao pssstttt, hey who are we to change their views on that?? We ended up meeting a black dude in the elevator that invited us to his room. Fuck it, we were all hungry so we might as well get some food.... Plus it would be hard to kill a group of black girls, you know with the loud mouths and everything. We walk in, and everyone is drunk as shit, but i wasnt "SPANKY BLACK GIRL DRUNK"....I was "lemme watch out for my drunk girlfrans" drunk.. Something about this dude was kind of off, but shit if he was harbouring some food I guess he could be as weird as he wanted to be .. The girls start conversing with the two dudes in the room, and I just happen to look to the right and see a bunch of coke on the table. Just coke, there..on the table..Now I'm all for niggas getting it how they live it, thats really none of my business if this random dude was selling coke to feed his family TIL I saw the rolled up dollar bills... NAH nope, were good... Soon as I saw that I knew it was TTG.... Not trained to go but TIME TO GO... I grab these bitches, and tell them we have to leave NOW. A couple were confussed and lost cus they didnt see what i saw. Lacys drunk ass is over in the corner staring out the window at the sky like a fucking creep of nature.... I grabbed them all and forced their drunk ass down the stairs. We finally got to our room and the drunk slumber beings.
The next day was filled with a bunch of hoodrat fuckery. Walking blocks, getting lost tying to find burger king while ending up at mcdonalds. Everytime we crossed the street we would do our "drake" dance and scream at the top of our lungs singing STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM all off beat n shit. Just 6 bitches all shapes and sizes acting like we had no type of house training. NYC was not ready for these Massachusetts girls, obviously... The day consist of us lamping around and doing a whole bunch of nothing. It was cold as shit and windy, fuck did we look like site seeing in NYC??? But tonight, of course tonight would be the turn up, or so we thought.......
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