Relationship Killers Part 2

7. Intentions- Not everyones intentions are genuine and sincere. Some people have wicked intentions that eventually will be shown. If you're just someone for the NOW, and your partner wants someone for the long run it won't work out. The fact that long term things never come up will be a major factor

8. Popularity- this might be linked to insecurities and even trust issues. But popularity is on its own. You have access to be around more people, maybe a different group of people. Possibly a lot more people see you, want you.. That could make your partner uneasy.. It's one thing to have a "regular" partner that goes to the store and is getting hit on because he or she happens to be attractive. It's ANOTHER, that ANYWHERE he or she goes they are noticed, maybe in some cases they are worshipped (sounds weird but it happens).... Some people can handle dating Becky from up the street, but if they had a Halle, they couldn't handle the pressure.. Or even someone just as simple as Miracle or a Lira... So if you can't handle the heat, stay the fuck up out the kitchen, AKA don't date someone that is... can be... or will be in the limelight..

9. Fail to nurture- Not giving the attention, and time that is needed for both parties can only end badly. Both need to put effort forward to make sure the bond stays strong. Little things like movie dates, or just random intellect conversations will make it known and felt that both of you are still very much invested and interested in the relationship. It'll make it harder for one to step outside of the relationship looking for something, because you are doing the little things to make a relationship feel as one...

10. Selfishness- Being single and being selfish is completely normal, you're suppose to be! Its your time to worry about bettering yourself for yourself. All that is great until you get into a relationship, and you no longer should just be worried about yourself, but also your partner.. Putting yourself first now becomes a big NO. No healthy relationship can last with selfishness throughout it

11. Sex drive- Thought I was gonna skip over the REAL shit huh? Y'all should know me better... Sex is always important, because even though sex isn't needed like oxygen or water, its deff something that we crave. If you happen to fall head over heels for someone just to learn their sex drive is very low compared to yours, that may complicate things. No one wants to have to search else where for something that should be taken care of at home.. Not saying you have to fuck your partner everyday but just compromise so that you both can be happy and bust a few nuts here and there..

      And that my friends, are just a few relationship killers.. Of course there's plenty more that I missed out on, I apologize for that. But these are the few that stood out most to me. You just have to remember that no relationship is perfect, so of course you can't perfect it... BUT what you can do is work together to try to avoid missing out on something great because of small things.. Mostly everything I spoke about can be fixed, you just have to want to fix it. And if it can't be fixed (e.g. popularity, you can't help that you're famous or well known...) then your partner is going to have to come to terms with their doubts and insecurities and figure it the fuck out... And just like that, I'm out like a thief in the night, ENJOY FUCKERS

Relationship Killers Part 1

   
         Now no relationship is perfect, everyone knows that. The goal is to work towards being a perfect partner to your significant other! But I'm gonna list some things that can easily be the demise of your relationship. Whether big or small, there's certain things you may or may not be able to work through. Some people are too fucked in their head to want to change, or see that they need to change. Or see that they need to compromise! This is just part 1, because theres just so many ways we can fuck shit up, its sad but its the truth... Just work with me. I even asked people around me for input because I haven't been in THAT many relationships that I can list everything so that everyone can feel as if they can either relate ORRRR they can say fuck this I need to change certain things so I won't ruin my relationship. Some times knowing the negatives can help you change it to a positive. I'm just here to help, mama spank is HERE FOR THE CULTURE. Not putting it in any particular order, this is a random list that I put together and broke down in MY lil opinion......

1. Insecurities- In my mind insecurities come from THE INSIDE, from within. A feeling of unease that may be triggered by oneself to be vulnerable. COMING FROM THE INSIDE. I think at times people want to blame their insecurities on others, when I think its all in ones mind. Everyone is insecure in one way or another, which that is normal.. BUT if and when you let them same insecurities ruin something, that is when you take it from being normal to abnormal. DONT BE THAT PERSON!! Continuously doubting yourself will only turn off your partner, if not right then and there, it most deff will in the long run... Be confident in yourself and what you bring to the table!

2. Clinginess- There is nothing wrong with wanting to be around your significant other. But with certain people, it can become overwhelming.. Some people LOVE having their own space, and when someone is constantly invading that, that can slowly but surely ruin a healthy relationship. Because once someone looks deeper than the clinginess, it can show that it is a real problem of dependency. Being dependent on your partner here and there isn't the issue, but when it becomes an everyday all day thing, thats when it becomes a turn off. DONT NO ONE GOT THE TIME TO HAVE YOU UP THEIR ASS 24/7, its not cute! So realize that before its late..

3. Kids- I don't care what anyone says, kids always play a major role in a relationship! They have to. If your partner has a kid or kids and you don't, you may feel as if you are falling in second place, SHIT even third place (the child of course will come before you, and in most cases the other parent may come before you also).. IDK about you but I don't think I'm that mature, sorry not sorry. Thats just ME though.. I know what I can deal with, and I know what I can't or won't deal with. Everyone isn't the same though... And also if you aren't ready to start a family and your partner is it may feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, because the person you love wants something YOU don't. That can make it hard to compromise because babies are not something that you can just CHANGE, or get rid of....

4. Trust issues- Lack of trust is too important... If you can't trust the person you're with then whats the point? This is so important because without trust you literally have nothing. So to start off with no trust or to even lose all trust, it is pointless to try to even go forward. If you aren't willing to atleast try to work with your partner so you can trust them or vice versa, then just end it before y'all are in too deep. Always being paranoid can bring out the worst in anyone, and eventually that can ruin you two...

5. Past relationships- A past relationship can bring a current relationship down. Comparing your ex to your NOW bf/gf can be a horrible thing to do. Its not only insulting, but they may feel as if they aren't good enough for you. Like they have shoes they have to fill, nah... NO ONE WANTS TO FEEL THAT WAY. Everyone knows they're not your first, never know if they're gonna be your last BUT THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY ARE! If you are constantly finding yourself comparing your current to last, then maybe you aren't ready to move forward! No need to waste your time or their time when all you can really think about is your ex, don't be that evil person that uses someone for a rebound just to go back

6. Cheating- Of course to some this is the most important thing Ive listed so far, because most of the time this is the reason a relationship has ended. CHEATING can be very small, or very big... But no matter how you try to explain it, it still hurts and can make your partner feel, AGAIN as if they aren't good enough. Sometimes cheating can be a completely random thing! And sometimes cheating happens because your partner feels neglected for WHATEVER reason. But there is no excuse for it! Don't ever think I'm saying that. BIG or SMALL, this can be the downfall to something great. A secret date, you sharing secrets with someone that you don't even share with your significant other can be considered CHEATING! Everyone can see cheating differently, its not always just sticking your dick in someone.. or letting someone break your uterus. Letting someone feel superior to your significant other is the first step of cheating...


        That should be enough to hold you over for the time being.. I will be back soon enough with a Part 2, because lord knows I missed so many other ones. Just stay tuned, and even before then if you have any input or think I should add something specfic HOLLA AT THE GAWD, Im always ready to listen because like always I know I haven't been through it all so there could be somethings that I'm completely blinded to. Just be patient, Ill be back in a couple days.... Just bear with me... THANKS YALL

 

Regular mans queen.....

        Well, well, well... Look what we have here. A topic that many females will probably run from, hide from, or just embrace the fuck out of. It alll matters where she is in life, and how honest she is with herself. Today I wanna speak on a female picking and choosing to be a RICH MAN'S whore over a REGULAR MAN'S queen... Or vice versa. (Shout out to MAL for this little line. Years ago Joe Budden had an online show, and MAL spoke about this briefly... Ever since then, this topic has ran across my mind ever so often... Made me really think of both sides..) Now before I get too into this post let me explain both titles for those who may not understand what I'm speaking on. Don't take the word whore and just assume it's just so bad. I mean, whores need love too.

        First things first, let's explain the simpler one of the two.. "A regular man's queen..." I think that pretty much speaks for itself.. A "regular man" consist of a man with a JOB. A regular ol 9-5 job, nothing too special about his job either! You bitches better not come out the woodworks saying "well athletes have jobs..." Bitch stfu you know what I mean when I say REGULAR. This man isn't rich, or famous. He lives a pretty decent, normal life.... If a man reading this gets offended, I'm sorry, but being regular isn't a bad thing, so don't be hurt by it. Anywho... A regular mans queen consist of a female having a title! Standing by that title! Monogamy! A relationship that consist of just you and him!!!! Nothing more, nothing less! Simple right?

        Moving along to the one that I guess is more of a taboo... "A rich man's whore...." I think this is pretty simple to understand, but I can break it down. So...... The man clearly is rich, meaning a prestigious man, living a lavish life that someone with a regular 9-5 probably could never maintain with their salary. Whether he's a CEO of a great business, a top of the line rapper. Or if the nigga is Dez Bryant with a 70 million dollar contract. He's a WEALTHY man.. He doesn't live a "normal" life...So with that being said, we're going to skip right over to the whole whore part that everyone hates. That may consist of you being a side bitch, a mistress, a booty call or a plain ol' bitch he refuses to take serious! Sorry for saying bitch, just a bad habit... I mean you have a title, technically, its just not the "wifey, g/f title......

        So now that we've got that out of the way, I want to give some pros and cons for both of them. Let's get things straight, both have good sides and bad sides, that's with any relationship, so please don't shoot the messenger. Im just here to open your eyes to both sides. HEY I COULD BE SAVING SOMEONES LIFE, you better not be on the other end of this screen judging!


Regular Mans Queen PROS:

-Love should always be the most important pro of dealing with someone. Because without love you don't have much. You can have a solid friendship, and even then there needs to be some type of love involved! Love keeps y'all together, Love keeps y'all happy. Love is just so fucking awesome huh?

-Security!! Being secure is a major key in any relationship. You know when you get home at night, the love of your life will be there. You sleep together. You can share your secrets with him. He's a best friend!

-MAKEEEE IT LASTTT FOREVERRRRRRRR EVERRRR *in my best Keith sweat voice* nobody gets in a serious relationship thinking it's gonna end so this is also important. You plan on being with this man if not forever, somewhere close to forever. basically this is an important pro because you two actually have a real future together.

-Trust IS A MUST. When you're someone's QUEEN you both have big shoes to fill. Trusting that he has your best interest at heart, because its a cruel cruel world we live in. Your man is your protector, provider..

-Loyalty, because everyone knows aint shit in this world deeper than loyalty and love... Y'all are going to go through good and bad, and still be able to work through it. You are devoted to this man, and he's devoted to you. Nothing feels better than knowing someone is 100% all yours!


Regular Mans Queen CONS:

-Not saying every "regular" man is broke or even close to broke... But I'm saying he is a lot more cautious of spending his money. Especially if you ask for them Giuseppes you saw a popping IG model wearing, that you know will look TOO GOOD on your feet... You want it, but your man just isn't in the position to throw out money like that. His money isn't spent on materialistic  things as often as you may like..

-You just happen to be a queen of a regular cheating ass nigga......AGAIN, I'm not about to sit here and say every man cheats....But what I am gonna say is God forbid he cheats you're gonna be MAD AS FUCK!!! You're gonna drop a thug tear and tell yourself "drake wouldn't treat me like this..." Knowing damn well he would, but he would be able to help you ease the pain with a lil bag to drop at the Galleria. Not saying money gives him the green flag to cheat, BUT it'll make your bitch shut the hell up most of the time.

-You may always think of the "what ifs".... What if you never settled, what if you answered that DM from that Knick's player. You may hang that over his head or, shit even over your own head. Always reminding yourself you could have more, or maybe in a sense better

-MAYBE just MAYBE you aren't ready for the "Queen" title. Maybe you still wanna thot and bop with your hood-rat friends. HEY I DONT JUDGE. Thats fine, that can be a big CON because it'll put you in a position to either fake it till you're really ready, or for you to act out and possibly cheat.

Rich Mans Whore Pros:

-If you aren't looking for love, but more so a fun time, this will most deff be a pro for you. Not every female on this earth is searching for her Prince Charming at this exact moment. Some believe that they need to experience a few things before settling down, and hey who are we to judge? They like to call it the hoe phase, I like to look at it like a science experiment.

-OH it's lit. You get a pair of shoes, you get a pair of shoes, you get a pair of shoes *oprah voice* seriously though, a rich man is able to help more with bills and materialistic things. The money is flowing in a lot quicker than a regular man so he is able to dish it out a lot quicker.  Rich men usually don't have as much free time, so being a rich mans whore could really be beneficial for you in a materialistic way...

-Fun and freedom, who doesn't like that? You aren't tied down! This situationship comes with a lot of fun. Trips, shopping sprees, maybe threesomes but you have the freedom to do as you please when he isn't around you. Again you don't have a title and maybe thats what you want, so you can continue to thot and bop as  you please.

-Probably getting spoiled & taken care of temporarily, so that gives you an opportunity to save enough money for your future. He can put you in a position to really build yourself a solid foundation, so when he finally decided to drop your ass, you won't be shit out of luck (because he will drop you... and leave you for either the next bitch or for the bitch he really loves) Be smart!


Rich Mans Whore CONS:

-When it comes to being a rich mans "whore" there's really no security in that. Because the way he found you, is the same way he can find the next willing female. So you never really know when he's gonna drop you like a bad habit. Unless you love surprises, well negative surprises this is a major con.

-Temporary loss of dignity and your self esteem may also become damaged knowing he'll most likely never take you serious. Very rarely do you go from being someone's fun toy, to their wife. I mean of course it can HAPPEN, but the chances are very slim. Unless you are a real heartless whore and you trap him. Then you can be in his life for the next 18 years.. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS SHIT SO NONE OF YOU NIGGAS BETTER TRY TO BLAME ME IF YOU GET TRAPPED!!

-Lack of respect! Whether it's from him, or the people around you. Not everyone will be ok with the life you choose to live. Especially if you're a side piece! If you're a booty call, close friends of yours will probably be against it because they would hope you would want more for yourself.

-When you're dealing with a man that you're equal to, you both have some power. In this situation you aren't exactly an equal (sounds horrible, but it's the truth...) you lose a lot of the power you once probably had dealing with another type of man

-Men may not take you serious in the long run. If they see how easy you are for a man that is wealthy, they may not take you serious because they're afraid of what you're capable of. I mean, it makes complete sense. He's looking at you like you will do anything for a come up, so why take you serious. You will be seen as the girl that is fucked and passed along


        And that's that. Short and simple. A few pros and cons on both ends. The way I see it, its all about what you consider fun. I don't judge, and some females enjoy not being tied down, and not having to answer to anyone. Can't blame a female for being ok with playing the side. Men and women aren't that different at the end of the day, and its 2016 so we've just gotta just accept that. If she's ok with being with a wealthy man that will never take her serious, then GOTDAMN you should be ok with it too! Eventually she'll learn what she really wants out of life, out of a man. Til then let her live! Like you would let the regular mans queen live....

long distance relationships.....

       How legit are long distance relationships? There's a lot of different kinds and all different types of people are forced to be in relationships that are long distance. There's the "we met while being far apart and we're still away from eachother" long distance relationship....then there's the "we were together before the distance..." relationship... Either way being away from someone you care for, has to be a challenge. So the question is, is it worth it? Can you make it work? What does it take to have a successful long distance relationship? There's up and downs to EVERY relationship, but we are gonna focus on ones that are miles away and still somehow find a way to make it work. Or the ones that need help to make it work. And even the ones thinking about making it work. Cus lord knows, you can't help who you love..

      First and foremost the emotions, the feelings have to be legit...Like there can't be any question in yalls minds that the love isn't there or the love can't possibly be there. Because that's the main thing...If someone is not physically there with you, the one thing to remind you what you got going on is the LOVE. The butterflies in your stomach that you feel thinking of them. How your palms get sweaty when you hear their voice. Long distance can be stressful but that feeling of being reassured that you have someone is lit. Or has to be lit. I'm single y'all, don't get too amped.

      Communication is key! If y'all don't communicate with one another on a daily basis, you will quickly see how easy it is to forget about something that isn't in your face. Talking on the phone, face timing and texting are major factors.. Good morning text should be rolling in like you still trying fuck for the first time! Speaking on your days in FULL, not the typical "oh my day was good. How was yours?" type shit. Details are needed! Tell them everything! The good shit in your day! The bad things! Tell him about the nigga at your job that loves you so much but you be playing him to the side! That'll make him feel good, niggas love feeling good. Whether y'all knew eachother before the distance or y'all just getting to know eachother y'all should know one another inside and out. Favorite food. Flaws. Dislikes. What makes them happy, like henny. Henny makes me happy. But so doesn't the sound of the waves. See niggas don't know shit like that. Gotta be OPEN and let all that shit be known because without communication y'all just gonna be a long distance relationship on the road to failure.

      To make things work you both need to be 100% ready to go through shit. Thick and thin type of relationship...Because everyone knows it's easy AF to let go of something that isn't right in front of your face. Out of sight out of mind type of shit. So with that being said, you both have to be willing to put egos, pride and all that bullshit on the back burner because with the distance, that shit will not help anything. You will stay stagnant, and no one wants to stay in one place forever. Both parties need to be OK with the distance. If one is against it, the relationship is already in jeopardy. No one likes doing shit they don't want to do in the first place... if making a relationship work MEANS working together while away you need to be 10 toes down willing to make it work. Stop wasting both y'all time if one partner isn't ok with the distance. Because the person NOT ok with it, will be the first one to step outside of the relationship looking for attention else where...

   TRUST!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRUST!!!!!!!! One more time let me say TRUST!!!!!!!! Dog, trust is everything. Not just for people in different states either but you knew that. If there's no trust to begin with, might as well just end it before it starts. There's no point really. You can't pop up at his house ladies, so you gotta be able to TRUST him when he says he's just chilling with his friends. Pst, cus you can text, call, FaceTime, Skype the nigga and if he doesn't want to answer, HE WONT! And boom.... There goes that. When he finally answers and says he was sleep, YOU GOTTA TRUST THAT THE NIGGA WAS SLEEP (which no bitch on earth believes that line anymore.... But hey it's worth a try...) anywho, you can try to deal with someone without trusting them, But it won't last long, and if it does last long, it'll be the same headache over and over again. Assuming, accusing, all that crazy shit. And being physically with someone you can work on it, but distance complicates it... So before you put yourself in a position to be in a long distance relationship, ask yourself... "Am I gonna believe her when she tells me she's going out with her friends? Or am I gonna assume the star running back on the football team just took my bitch to Ruth Chris?????" ... TRUST IS A MUST!!

      SEX. No matter if you're saint or a sinner... Everyone knows sex plays a major factor in relationships. It's not everything but it plays a big role. If you can't go without sex, then maybe a long distance relationship isn't for you. Because you can't drive up the street to go get some long dick, or some wet pussy. You have to become best friends with your right hand (or left hand, for the lefties out there).... And that's real. There's other ways to make the intimacy part of the relationship work. Of course you can't TOUCH your partner. But naked pics should be on deck on a daily basis. Gotta remind him what he has, and what he doesn't wanna lose. FaceTime sex is LITTTT or so I've been told... By a friend..... But you gotta spice shit up so your partner doesn't feel like they need to step out of the relationship because of the lack of contact... I kinda wanted to stay away from the negative part, but this sex topic forces me into the topic of cheating... Is it ever ok to cheat in a long distance relationship??

      Now every relationship is different and I never want anyone to feel as if I'm forcing MY Opinion on them, BUT when it comes to long distance relationships there's ONLY so much you can do sexually for your partner. Of course you should always stay on point and do what you can to keep your MAN YOURS, but always remember niggas need certain things. And putting their Dick in some pussy is one of them. Naked pictures will only hold him over for so long. Still send them though! Still show him why he chose you to be his girl over the next. But I think hall passes should be sent out when dealing with someone long distance. Realistic staying "faithful" is gonna be a hard task for him. Just have faith that he's gonna remain loyal to you... Loyalty is holding you down. Being faithful is not giving your body to someone else. Or that's how I see it. 

        

      I know there are faithful people in this world, so let me step away from the cheating shit and focus on the fact that with a little bit of effort you can see your partner and get it cracking instead of having to step out of the relationship. And during the visit  theres a few things you wanna try to stay away from. STAY AWAY FROM BEING CRAZY AND GOING THROUGH HIS OR HER SHIT!!! That is just a fight waiting to happen. Not saying you're gonna find something completely fucked up, but when you go searching for something YOURE GONNA FIND SOMETHING. And with the "let me go through their shit" mindset, even if you don't find something... the smallest thing you do find, will make you mad and start a fight.. and FIGHTS ARE SOOOOOOOOOO unneccessarry when you two barely see each other in the first place. So stay away from fights.. going through their shit.. Seems simple huh? Probably not, but YOU CAN DO IT.. I HAVE FAITH IN YOU BUDDY!! Visit are lit though because you can remind your partner why they love you so much. Start sucking his dick in the car when he gets you from the airport, now thats LIT.... niggas love getting surprise head in the car... OR IVE BEEN TOLD .... and dudes, give her a nice rub down! Do something sweet, and different for him. Then fuck her like a savage, word to Future! Visits can end really good, or really bad. It all matters HOW you want the trip to go. Main goal is to have as much fun as possible because you never know when  you'll get the chance to be laid up with them again!

      Respect should be the next big thing when it comes to these types of relationships... Respecting their wishes for you to not do certain things, making sure you always keep their best interest in mind. That's for ANY RELATIONSHIP really. But more importantly, respect is NEEDED with the distance. How would you feel if you told your man you didn't want him hanging out with a certain someone, you text him.. And he tells you he's out to lunch with her? Now if y'all were in the same city of course you could POP THE FUCK UP... But being thousands of miles away all you can do is shake your head and realize that your partner doesn't respect simple instructions you gave them...

      Now through the bullshit, the good and the bad you two have to be able to work through hard things because that makes you stronger as a couple. Being apart is harder because you're not physically there to show the hurt or to help your partner do right. But being apart can make them want you even more. Ever heard of the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Well basically being away from loved ones makes you love them even more. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. And I'm not saying it'll work out. But what I am saying is that you can make shit happen, and you'll learn from it either way. These are just somethings that you should keep in mind before putting yourself in a position to date someone far away...