So I'm here, back like cooked crack. Sorry for not being consistent on here...how I am with my blogs is how I am in real life, consistently inconsistent. Hey, what can we do about it? Im gonna open up a little bit into my "personal life".. a little deeper than just the ratchet stuff (even though this story is literally no better or holier than the next).. Im just here to give you a slight look at the inside of my very entertaining life. Its always been entertaining. Never a duke moment. TRUST ME, this will make you giggle. If even just a little.
Now I guess you could say this is a touchy subject, only because I don't speak about it much. I'mma thug it out either way because this particular story is pretty funny. For me and definitely for a person on the outside looking in, deff a funny situation. Like many other young light skin women like myself, I don't have a daddy. Well, I have a daddy. Let's not get that wrong, I just wasn't raised with him around. Boo-hoo sad story, typical black American dad story (drake voice) not that serious tho. Put aside a few of my issues and I think I came out just fine *inserts painted nail emoji*.. My mother Lisa (yes most the time I call my mother Lisa. And yes she knows, and yes she's ok with it) my mother will always be judged by me in a way. She's my mother and I love her, but that chick loved her so hood niggas, obviously. THANK GOD I DIDNT GET THAT TRAIT FROM HER. Thank you baby Jesus. We won't get too deep into that but basically, my fathers in jail... For murder.. Wrong place wrong time, stone cold killer, accident shooter, IDK not my issue honestly but he's been in jail since 94 if I'm correct. I've always communicated with him though. Especially when I was younger. You know typical dad in jail, couldn't do much but he always made sure I had new sneakers. Had east bay magazines sent to my house and I always got to pick which ones I wanted. I mean it wasn't much but it was something. I didn't have a father in my house but I HAD THEM JAYS DOE.
When I was younger, I was introduced to his girlfriend (she was a white woman) and they met while he was in jail. Come to find out she was a nurse working in the jail, and was fucking my dad TIL she got caught and fired. THE NERVE OF YOU DAMN WHITE WOMAN. I would go spend weekends at her house, she has kids around my age, and I didn't talk to him as much when I was at my mothers house (typical lisa) she could give 2 shits about that man. I remember one time I was forced to sit down and write to my father. Ugh I hated that. Like what do I say? I was young I just wanted to run around and sing spice girl songs, the fuck. This one particular time I started my letter "Dear TIMMY"... I saw nothing wrong with this, but everyone else did. I got slapped so hard and cussed out. Like damn bruh, I don't really know this man and Yall out here forcing me to not only write to him, but now I gotta call him DAD? Aggy. In my head I was like "Well WTF am I suppose to call him"... Looking back, that's probably when I knew I was gonna be iight in life.
Growing up I never knew what he did, and why I couldn't see him like all the little white kids could see their dads (not only that but why didn't my mother have our last name and why the hell weren't they married) being in a school with 89% white kids, thats what I cared about. His side of the family would always pull the "OMG your dad is coming home next weekend" line. I think that's one big reason why I have trust issues, ohhhhhhhoooaaaaa... Don't lie to kids, Cus they believe you. Then they grow up to not believe you. Pretty common sense. But whatever, after a while I was over it, I was just excited for the pizza I knew that came with visiting that side of the family ( they are crazy. Like real life crazy. Everyone, like there's not one sane person. HI TO ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS ON TIMMYS SIDE THAT MAY HAPPEN TO READ THIS. YALL ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND TAPPED AND NEED JESUS)
Eventually I got old enough to make my own decisions and I slowly stopped communicating with him. Stop answering calls, stopped writing. For what reason, idk I just didn't think it was necessary (sorry I ain't shit and I know if you've ever done a bid you probably feel a certain way about me right now. Sorry not sorry).. Til just about the time I turned 16. I was told I was getting 10 racks just for the simple fact that this man had unprotected sex and came inside of my mother. Pretty simple. I didn't need to ask questions, show me the money BRUH. At that time money was just about everything to me. I was young, bad as fuck. I use to rob the rich white kids for their cell phones and sell it back to them. I was just bad. But to me, this meant more Jordan's, tuhhhhhh. Boy was i excited. But like everything else, there's always a catch. I had to take a DNA test, yes you heard it right. A DNA test. *looks to my left, looks to my right* AM I BEING PUNK'd???? At that exact moment i judged my mother and questioned everything she ever told me. Like, who are you? Was this the same as the time you told me Santa was real? Was THIS A SICK JOKE TO YOU LISA??? I was mad at everyone. Her, him, the doctor that pulled me out here vag, her mother, his parents. Like mad. Like bruh, how are you gonna produce a child, kill someone, go to prison than have the NERVE to try to deny me. ME. Oh hell nah. Someone was gonna catch this fade. Eventually I found out the DNA test was helping me out THO. I spoke to him and he told me he wanted to basically "prolong" the hearing the child support hearing they were having for me, because my mother was gonna take all the money. My mother on the other hand was basically saying he didn't wanna give me the money. So i got one fuck ass on one shoulder, and another fuck ass on my other shoulder. I'm to a point where I just wanted the money. So I took the test. Knowing damn well I came from the sperm from my daddys balls CUS I look just like him. Unless my mother was fucking his brother and that's why I look like him.... but then, that my friend would really be a Maury episode in itself.
So they had a court date. This was gonna be one of the first times I've seen my dad, that I could remember atleast. And this was being done because of DNA testing. Saliva swabs n shit. I wasn't able to sit and talk to him, but I got a quick glimpse of him. They had me outside the courtroom because of the "nature of the case" Whatever the fuck that means.. I didn't care, I just was worried about the 5's that I wanted SO bad and I was gonna get with that money. I'm sitting outside the courtroom and I hear laughter, like loud ass laughter. So now I'm confused like, last thing I thought court was, was funny. Deff didn't think it was suppose to be fun, but maybe I had this whole being a criminal thing painted wrong in my head. My mother storms out the room and says some shit along the lines of "your fucking father will never change I swear.." So I'm just here lost, confused and looking dumb. Well, come to find out this nigga started singing Kanye west "gold digger loud as fuck in he court room.. L M F A O. Bruh I can not make this shit up. Niggaaaaaa, you did what???? LIKE WHY????? I cried laughing... After that I knew that DNA test wasn't needed. He was my dad. No way I wasn't his child. Like, only a certain type of person would do some fuck shit like that. And I know for a fact I had that persons genes.
The DNA test comes in and I just so happen to be 99.9% my fathers daughter. I kinda that in my best Maury voice. So I'm just happy, Harlem shaking in my head. Not because I wanted him to be my dad, but because I was gonna have fun spending this money (so irresponsible of me. I know but young me had to go through fuck shit to turn into very responsible spank)... But the sad part is, I spent 2 racks on a dog. I loved that dog, she was my best friend. My mother gave her away a few years after THO, I swear I'll never forgive Lisa for that. I got clothes and my Jordan's. But..... That was it.... My mother pulled the "I raised you, this is my money" card.. Little sneaky heather my father was right, LMFAO. She ain't shit bruh. Like, 90% of you single mothers forcing a man to pay child support just so you can cop an iPhone 6 and get them Brazilian bundles... Yall are all the same. Grow up lmfao. Now I'm mad that I didn't take it and use it for something productive. Save it for college, shit buy a car. But like I said I learned from it. I still have my 5's btw, so I guess it's not all a bad thing.
My life will forever be in shambles because of that, not really but I love saying my life is in shambles. Makes shit seem so stressful. The emotional part of this never hit me like it would hit someone else I guess... Idk if im heartless or what but i just saw the whole situation as a check and now i see it as money i didnt get anything but a bitch from it, literally. Time went by and I just started talking to my father again. He still brings up the money, and that day in court. Still to this day calls my mother a gold digger, Lmfao. A couple days ago he called her a "raccoon".... "she just takes shit from everyone. Everyone. And she stares at you like one... She's evil" ... I love my mother and I love my father. This story will always make me laugh cus it just shows a very small part of my dysfunctional family. I guess the moral of the story is, dont have sex tip you're married and dont have sex with a person thats capable of killing someone or you will have a baby like spank. And you and i both know you cant handle that….
